If you couldn’t make me happy, why did you ask me to put away all my friends? Exclaimed Monica! Josh had proposed marriage to Monica, and since that very day Monica accepted the proposal, it has been all Josh throughout. He’s been like a boss, always instructing Monica to do this one thing or the other. The more fascinating aspect of it was when Josh asked Monica to put away all her friends for his sake, with assurances of being not just a potential husband to her, but also a friend.

Josh started quite well, and for about a month, Monica never seemed to have missed her friends, because Josh demonstrated that he was in to make it thick for her. Few days after a month of joy and happiness came the time of pain and anguish. Josh began pacing the profitable time he spends with her, more like a ‘variable interval’. The Psychology people will understand.

A life full of assurances in the twinkling of an eye generated into a life full of excuses. Josh hardly got time for her, and that left her stranded. She was thinking of going back to her friends least did she know that her actions, which was instigated by Josh’s demands had driven them away from her. To cut the long story short, the marriage was never meant to be since Monica couldn’t guarantee her ultimate happiness in Josh, a man who limits and can’t occupy!

This is not just limited to relationships or love lives, but it cut across all life’s endeavours. A boss who’s not ready to provide his employee with the tools necessary for carrying out his/her duties can not restrain the employee from talking to other companies where he/she can be guaranteed such tools to facilitate his work.

Parents who are not willing to buy ‘toys’ for their little boy to play with, has got little to no chance of stopping their child from visiting their next door neighbour whose son has got a lot of toys to play with. Likewise a political leader who can’t guarantee his followers the best of treatment risks losing them out to his opponents.


A pastor who can’t be relied on by his members for anointing, revival, words of truth (salvation) and wisdom and breakthrough can’t restrict his members from joining other churches where these things are seen and realised.

We can and should not guarantee others what we can’t offer. We cannot place limits on the lives of others when we can’t really occupy them. Never take away a pleasant situation from a person, with the promise of being the substitute of such a situation when in actual sense you can’t fill the vacuum left by the pleasant situation.

Make it a point today to either not to limit people, or to limit them and occupy them. Don’t start if you can’t finish! If you know you can’t occupy, don’t limit! Every limitation should be met by an equal occupation…(I zip my mouth)!


Paa Kwesi Mensah

Paa Kwesi Mensah is a product of the University of Cape Coast where he read Psychology.

His love for humanity and an intrinsic desire to impact positively on his generation were what led him into writing.
He's popularly known as "Moshoosho de Counsellor".

Email: kwesmens@oxelle.com

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